Wedding Decisions You Can Offload to Your Groom

From the proposal to the honeymoon, there are a million wedding decisions to make. Most assume this is the bride's day, so she gets to call all the shots. However, that's neither true nor desirable.

Today, most grooms are heavily involved in the wedding planning, and that's a good thing. It helps keep you from doing too much and becoming overwhelmed. More importantly, a little teamwork on the wedding decisions gives the event the personality of the couple, rather than just you.

Here are a few key areas where relinquishing some of the responsibility to the groom will really pay off:

The Obvious Wedding Decisions

Wedding party gifts, the rehearsal dinner, his wedding band, and where to rent a tux are all obvious wedding decisions handled by the groom, so start with those. The groom should also handle everything that's required for the groomsmen and should invite and accommodate family members from his side.

Of course, you get input on these fronts, including veto power. However, at the end of the day, let him take the lead on these decisions and get the ball rolling on collaborative wedding planning.

The Tiny Details

Beyond the big things your groom always takes care of, he can get involved with the other wedding decisions a bride would usually handle. He can make spreadsheets, manage budgets, interview and follow up with vendors, reserve hotel blocks, arrange transportation, arrange for portable toilets or rental tables and chairs, and more. In this way, he can help make judgment calls based on logistical factors, rather than clash with your tastes or pretend he has a preference on something he doesn't care about.

No matter what stage of wedding planning you're in, it helps to sit down and make a very detailed list of what has to happen. Start with a big item, such as booking a venue, and break it down into daily, actionable steps:

  • Make a short list.
  • Call for availability and rates.
  • Ask about rules.
  • Make a deposit.
  • Send the final payment.

Do this with each task, and you'll be surprised at how many subtasks you'll find.

The Things He Really Cares About

In this day and age, you may as well dispose of gender stereotypes. If your guy cares about flowers and centerpieces, let him help choose those things. If he's a beer aficionado or wine enthusiast, have him stock the bar. If he's into graphic design, have him put together your save the dates or design the program. There's no standard division of responsibility when it comes to wedding planning. The key is to have both the bride and groom contribute in a way that is meaningful and helpful.

Your wedding is truly a test of how you work as a team, so put some effort into finding your groove. Whether it's dividing and conquering by working independently on separate tasks or staying up until the wee hours of the morning debating details and making a collaborative decision, the end result will be far more rewarding if both of you invest time and attention.